Deal On Hubway

Seems the Globes version of Groupon has a deal on HubWay!  Sign up now for discounts next year.

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Thanks Sean for the tip.

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Boston Globe Places Foot In Mouth, To Much Yawning

Its kind of sad, newspapers used to be vanguards of news and opinion. Now the Boston Globe has devolved to the point where they would publish this sort of drivel.

Honestly I don’t even feel like posting a snippet of this article. I was reluctant to even link to it. Its got to be the most poorly thought out bit of tripe that has slid past the “editors” at the globe in a long while. It’s troll bait plane and simple. If you want to save yourself the trouble here is my quick summary.

I hate cyclists, lets ban bicycles from Boston. Here is some half asses opinion (not supported by any facts), here is my email, please email me and tell me I am an idiot.

Brian McGrory is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].

Its the same half asses, one sided, poorly thought out shit the globe used to publish all the time about cycling. I would love to see, just once, a nuanced thought out piece about the kind of law breaking being done by all road user groups (including but not limited to cyclists) and an honest well researched piece about the implications of the different kinds of rule breaking (you know stuff like this, and this)…but that would require a brain and the will to use it. Something Brian McGrory seems to lack, as do his editors.

I feel bad about even mentioning this article, because it has no redeeming qualities, and my drawing attention to it will only make the author get more attention…its just red meat to the few people who still don’t get that cycling is going to be a major part of the future transportation mix of this city (along with public transit, and walking).

Shame on you globe editors for letting this steaming pile make it to publication. This article should have been left on the editing room floor with the rest of the shlock.

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Milton Plans To Build Giant Wall To Keep Poor Masses In Boston Where They Belong

Today the globe reported that Milton, our rich pale neighbors to the south, plan on building a giant wall around their town. When asked why every Milton resident was out putting sand in bags, and hauling cinder blocks to the border, Milton police chief Richard G. Whiteguy said “We worry about opportunities not only for those on the bike path but also for criminal perpetrators to now have an easy opportunity to cross into.” (via)

Mattapan Invasion Plan

When the reporter ran that phrase through the politically correct translator here is what the computers printed on the screen “We don’t want any black people coming into our neighborhood.” Wall started construction started immediately. When residents heard that black people could now enter their town by bike path, they realized they might also be able to enter via road, train, or even walking.

“A giant wall is the only thing that can save us.” Added one particularly melanin free resident, “With giant spikes!” added another helpfully. When asked what they were worried about Brian O’Caucasian repplied “The people who come and go here — we know them all,’’ he said in a phone interview. “If you put a bike path through the neighborhood, it would take that sense of safety away.’’ (via) Translated through the PC-o-matic that roughly translates to “We don’t want any black people coming here, because we think they are all criminals, only the people who live here now are OK.”

Local bikers, and pedestrians of Mattapan have lamented that the new wall will cut right through the proposed bike lane that would complete the Neponset River Green Way path. “I guess with the advancement in technology that allowed bridges to cross the river, the Milton residents had no choice but built a wall, I mean how else would they keep us out?” Said Mattapan resident Peter Cyclist. When informed that bridges have been around for thousands of years, and that several currently exist that will allow Boston residents to travel into Milton Mr. Cyclist responded “Seriously? Well ain’t this some racist bullshit then.”

Full report here.

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Globe Picks Up Critical Mass Police Tackle “Incident”

The Globe covered the incident last Friday in which someone got tackled on their bike while riding in the Critical Mass ride.

Its your typical news story, side 1, side 2, interesting fact, no conclusion. Its a formula and they followed it. The fun part comes in the comment section….whoooo boy. Usually you can count on Globe readers to spew out some hateful ignorant bullshit, but you know when the story is about cyclists you are going to get extra hate filled ignorance, suffice to say if the story is about Critical Mass bike riders you get a nuclear level (pun intended) barage of idiocy.

Remember to breath, and remain calm when you read the comment section.

Honestly though, if you skipped the whole thing you wouldn’t really be missing much. Ho hum.

I have been meaning to write up a post about my view of Critical Mass for a while now, perhaps this incident will get me to do it. Suffice to say I think the event is more complicated than a “celebration of biking” or “a bunch of morons clogging up traffic.”

Until then the closest I have come to giving my opinion of such things is this.

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Mean Old Rich Guy Yells At Cyclists To Get Off His Lawn!

No this is not an onion article, although if you read the recent article in the globe you might be forgiven for confusing the two. Eric Berger, self appointed grumpy old man, has spent more than $40,000 (holy shit) of his own money. Not to cure cancer, or to plant trees, or to save the children, Mr. Berger wants more car traffic in front of his home, and he is not afraid to spend a lot of money to get it.

That’s right, Eric Berger loves him some car traffic, and he is willing to do anything to get more of it. Bigger, faster, more lanes, cars! Anything that stands in the way of getting the maximum number of cars past his home in a day is going to be dealt with, and dealt with sternly.

What is all the fuss about? A bunch of people in Arlington decided it would be awesome to have better pedestrian and bicycling facilities on that stretch of Mass. Ave. that runs through the town. If you have ever ridden on it you know its super wide, poorly laid out, and would be PERFECT for some bike lanes. Not so fast says Señor Grumpy Pants Berger:

Berger has shelled out $40,000 of his own money to hire an engineer, a law firm, two consultants, and another attorney to stop the town.

Wait, what? Why would anyone do that? Did a bicyclist or pedestrian kill his dog? Does he think that a band of rabid cyclists will descend upon his lawn and tear up his azaleas? Nope, he just feels that cyclists have it too easy already and its about time we do something nice for car drivers.

Berger and some others who oppose the reconfiguration say that Arlington already has enough places for cyclists, including a nearby rail trail. They argue that changing Massachusetts Avenue to accommodate bikes would only encourage more cyclists to use the road, making travel more difficult for cars and emergency vehicles.

Yes cyclists are going to make it harder for emergency, because they take up the whole road, and are impossible to move to the side if an ambulance or fire truck needs to get through. And a bike lane or wider sidewalk would provide absolutely zero space in case an ambulance or fire truck had to find some place to park. Color me dubious Mr. Cranky Berger.

As far as the argument of “well they don’t need bike lanes because they have the minuteman trail right over there” by that same argument you could say “well cars don’t need Mass. Ave. because Route 2, and 93 are right over there.”

And heaven forbid more people ride bikes than drive in their cars, you know that might just help reduce traffic, and then the poor souls that do choose to drive would have a big empty road with a bunch of cyclists on one side. How could they get to work in time under such conditions?!

The best part is Berger McDouche Rocket thinks that he is making some grand stand against tyranny.

“This is a story about citizens fighting to protect their safety against the local government,’’ said Berger, who likens his opposition to what the English government faced from Sam and John Adams. “It’s a story,’’ he continued, “about a group of citizens who refuse to sit quietly.’’

Oh you mean the revolution, where we got our freedom from a the tyrant king of England…yes your valiant fight to stop some bike lanes and better sidewalks is just like that. Or maybe you he was talking about Sam Adams valiant fight against bitter bear face? Either way, holy shit, crazy much? I would wager good money this guy has been watching too much Glenn Beck. He probably curls up every night with his stack of gold coins from Gold Line, and checks on his stash of non-hybrid apocalypse seeds every morning to make sure they are still in good condition so he can trade them for stuff when society falls apart.

For 40K he could have sent me to grad school for a year, or purchased enough food to feeds a couple thousand starving people in Africa, or helped clean up the beaches in the Gulf, or purchased almost 100 quality bicycles for people, or you know just kept it and gave it to his children when he kicks. Either way it seems like a lot of money to waste on fighting something that almost everyone agrees is a good thing. Is the noble struggle against the evils of bike lanes really going to be the one you blow your cash on?

If you are going to plant your old man crazy flag on the hill of battle, I am sure there are better causes you could fight. Try global warming, or air pollution, or obesity, or the geo-political consequences of our addiction to oil, ocean acidification, or asthma, or the lack of public transportation in many communities, to name a few. NOOO you had to fight bike lanes and side walks, whataguy!

I am both highly amused by this guy and his ilk, and disgusted. I can’t imagine how anyone who has ever ridden a bicycle through this area could think that there are already too many bike facilities. I also can’t imagine why they would want MORE car traffic in front of their homes? I mean do you really enjoy seeing cars zipping past your house at high speeds? What if you have dog, or a kid?

Traffic planers have been proving for years that adding more lanes just adds more traffic, and doesn’t solve the problem at all. All the studies of this part of Mass. Ave. completely refute Mr. Berger’s arguments. He has neither logical nor factual arguments on his side. What he does have is way too much free time, and a surplus of spending cash. Mr Berger is a sad, mistaken old man, who needs to take his wealth and go away.

For more highly amusing and disgusting quotes from these wack-a-moles, see the full article here.

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