Dear SUV Drivers…

…could you please handle your altercations without involving cyclists.

This insane story comes from the BU paper…hold onto your hats its as they say in the cinema, pretty fucked up. Read the entire story here.

A fit of road rage at the start of last night’s rush hour left windows in two SUVs smashed, one bicycle pinned under a car, and one cyclist lucky to have escaped uninjured.

A witness identifying himself only as Jerry, saying he feared for his life, says the driver of a sport utility vehicle jumped from his car and smashed the windows of the SUV directly in front him while both vehicles were stopped for a light at the intersection of Commonwealth Avenue and Essex Street. He says the driver of the first vehicle at the light panicked, hit the gas, and ran over a bicycle in front of him as the cyclist managed to leap to safety.

The cyclist, Stephen Lee (CAS’10), says he feels lucky to be alive. He was so frightened, he says, that he doesn’t remember jumping from his bike.

Casey Graves (CAS’12) says the driver of the first SUV at the intersection honked repeatedly at a bicyclist, apparently hoping he would make room for an escape from the irate driver of the other vehicle. Graves says the two drivers smashed each other’s windows and threatened each other, one wielding a baseball bat and one an iron bar, until Boston Police arrived on the scene to end the altercation.

EDIT: These two idiots were eventually arrested…thank goodness.

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Getting Your Degree From Harvard – A Play In One Act

Its been a while since we had any theater around here.

The Scene:
Our main character is approaching the corner of North Harvard and Soldiers Field road, traffic is brisk and moving, the main character is in the left hand land in preparation for an upcoming left turn.

Actors:
biker (played by yours truly)
Bro-dude 1 (played by Harvard student with Harvard jacket and Harvard hat on, backwards)
Bro-dude 2 (played by Harvard student with Harvard jacket and Harvard running pants on)

*Bro-dudes are looking left as they cross into the street, apparently to avoid on coming traffic from the left hand lane, they fail miserably and traffic in that lane screeches to a halt, they somehow manage to make it to the center line alive, only to nearly be hit by the biker, the scene starts as they stare slack jawed at the biker track standing inches in front of them*

Biker: *looks bro-dudes up and down* “So you guys go to Harvard?”

Bro-dude 1: *looks flattered* “Yes, yes we do”

Bro-dude 2: *smirks out a shit eating grin*

Biker: *pulls around bro-dudes* “Smart enough to go to Harvard, but can’t cross the street.”

*The sky erupts with fireworks and a giant +10 Pts sign appears made of gold in the sky surrounded by sparkling lights. A deep bellowing voice, like a mix between James Earl Jones, and God himself, is heard to intone “BUUUUURN SAUCE!” shaking the very fabric of creation*

Bro dude 2: *clearly devastated, struggles to find a response* “Uhh…Whoa there Lance.”

Biker: *Rides to work feeling good that a couple of Bro-dudes from Harvard think he is like Lance Armstrong*

And…scene.

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Cars Are Great! Bicycles Are Stupid! (According to State Farm)

Or at least that is what you would gather if you listened to the idiots from State Farm. Come on, why not ditch your car all together and save a bunch of money on gas, on oil changes on car…insurance….Wait a minute! State farm sells car insurance! Could this be a clever ploy to keep them in business even though the service (cars) they insure is on that is quickly becoming obsolete in many parts of the country! I think it could be!

Clearly State Farm is not above shilling for the auto industry (and by that same logic the global warming causing oil industry) if it means they will get a little more profit. If they pulled their heads out of their ass’s long enough to take the long view they will realize that the amount of money they are going to lose on global warming caused housing damage is going to make them go out of business.

One of the major causes of all that global warming, you guessed it, CARS! If more people rode their bike, there would be less global warming, and State Farm wouldn’t be forced to go out of business due to the inability to pay for all the (X-tream!) weather damage to it’s clients. (or the clients will no longer be clients once State farm jacks up its prices high enough to cover the costs).

Either way shame on you State Farm for this schlock.

(via)

EDIT:

While your at it avoid Geico as well, they have the lovely message that walking is also stupid…

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