Unibicle…Just Watch It, I Can’t Explain

Because you don’t need the 13 minutes it will take to watch this.

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BINGO! A Play In One Act

Its been a while since I have done a street theater re-enactment (see here and here and here..and here).

Bingo, a play in one act:

Scene: Our main character is standing with feet on the ground astride a bicycle while waiting for a walk sign.  Neither moving, nor making like movement is about to occur.

Actors:
bike person (played by me)
Lady on foot (played by lady on foot)

Dialog: (note to stage director, this play has no dialog, its more of an interpretive dance)

Bike person: waits for walk sign.

Lady on foot: Runs into bike person loudly.

Bike person:  Feels the impact, makes a face of wonder, turns head to stare at lady on foot.

Lady on foot: Angrily gestures at bike person, indicating that nowhere on the 20 foot wide sidewalk (empty of everything except the bike guy) was there a single space you could have possibly gone except into the back of this bicycle.  (really work it, its hard to convey all that information in a look, but you can do it)

Bike person: Smile awkwardly.

Lady on foot: As you walk away raise your left hand up and give the thumbs up angrily, like a terminator being lowered into molten steel.   Hold aloft thumb for at least 10 steps.

Bike person: Chuckle to yourself, adjust your fender, ride off.

And…scene.  That’s a warp folks, good work, lets hit the showers!

I can now fill out the last square on my biker bingo card. The only one I was waiting for was the elusive “hit by a pedestrian” square.  The entire experience was so strange, and sort of lovely in a funny way.  If you are the lady who ran into me while walking with your headphones on staring at your feet.  I want to say I am sorry you had to find out there was something in front of you like that…but you know, maybe point your eyes up a little in the future and you wont have these problems.

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This Is Hilarious: Wall Street Journal Losses Its Mind Over Bike Share Program

Want a good belly laugh, or perhaps to have your head explode, check out this WSJ “opinion” video about the new bike share program in NYC.

I honestly don’t know what happened to the WSJ, they used to be right wing, but not like this. Its like they stepped off the cliff and and didn’t notice they are falling though space.

I almost feel bad for this old lady ranting about the totalitarian government and how they are enforcing the bike share on these poor innocent civilians, but then I listen to the actual words coming out of her mouth and I just can’t work up any sympathy for her.

The older generation should be ashamed with what they have done with this planet, and they should count their lucky stars that the young-ins haven’t put them on trial for crimes against the bio-sphere.

A bike share program is just one small step in making this planet just a smidge more livable, and she talks about it like its some sort of fascist death camps. Hyperbole stacked on hyperbole layered in ignorance, with just a dash of crazy. A video well worth watching and laughing at.

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Shit Cyclists Say

More true than a lot of people would like to admit…but also should be called “shit roadies say” but that might be splitting hairs. Either way, funny.

Thanks Ron for the tip.

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I Say Give Him The Money Back

Just so you all know (this is in NYC but the law is the same here), Bike lanes are to keep cars out, not bikes in. You can leave the bike lane whenever you feel you need to/want to. You have the full legal right to use the entire lane, cars are not allowed in the bike lane.

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