Dealing With Pedestrians: A Helpful Guide

Walking in Boston is awesome. You can see the city as it was meant to be seen (on foot). You can get around very easily, combined with public transportation is can be a healthy and enjoyable way to live play and work in Boston. But I have noticed that some people don’t seem to understand some simple and very useful tips that will make their walking experience here in Boston much more enjoyable (AKA: they have no fear of death). The following guide should be read as “cyclist illuminates some best practices for dealing with walkers” it should not be taken as some sort of road bible that will teach you everything you need to know. Your brain is your most important piece of safety equipment, use it.

Before this turns into an Us vs Them kind of rant I want to say a couple things:
1. I love pedestrians, every person walking is one less person in a car, if you have a choice between cars and walking, WALK!
2. Bikers need to be very careful not to hit pedestrians, just because the pedestrian is doing something silly doesn’t mean that it wont hurt a lot if you run into them with your bike.
3. I honestly want more people out walking, I just want them to not get hurt, or hurt me.

I ride in this town a lot. I ride in the financial district, Dot, Allston-Brighton, points south north and west (sorry east Boston I almost never get over to you on my bike). And I see the same silly things over and over again. I am not going to advocate strict adherence to the walk signs, or think for a moment that everyone is going to walk to the end of the block and get in the crosswalk, these observations and suggestions are based on practical things I think people will actually do. The solution to a lot of these problems is “build better infrastructure” but because that is HIGHLY unlikely to happen quickly (or cheaply) my solutions are mostly ones that don’t cost any money.

The following is written from a cyclists point of view, but if you are a pedestrian and you find yourself doing any of the following the solution is simple, STOP DOING IT. I have ranted about peoples behavior being a major problem before so please don’t think I am singling you (the pedestrian) out for special treatment. We all have things we need to change. I recently returned from the west coast where I witnessed a completly different culture when it comes to walking. Everyone (and I mean everyone) pushes the button, waits for the signal and then crosses. I saw groups of people sitting at an empty street and none of them set foot into the road until the little walk guy showed up. Just something to think about…so without further delay…

Dealing with Pedestrians: a Helpful Guide.

The Plant

‘The Plant’ is when a person stands off the curb waiting for a chance to cross. They can be a couple inches from the curb, or in some cases several feet. This is very popular at busy crosswalks, and corners. Strange variations of this move include the ‘talking on the cell phone plant’ and ‘having a chat with your buddies plant.’

Why this sucks for a cyclist: The cyclist must do several things to avoid the plant. One they have to move further over to the left, this often puts them into conflict with moving cars. Two if you are doing ‘the plant’ on a corner, the cyclist must do a sort of over around and back move that makes for a very awkward turn, that at the same time potentially pushing the cyclist into turning cars.

How to fix this problem: People doing ‘the plant’ do so for several reasons, they are in a hurry, they want better viability, or are being absent minded. First off, get a bell for your bike, you would be surprised how many plants will pull up roots and take a step back if you give them a polite little “ding ding.” Second don’t be afraid to scream “hey back up!” or “Need a little space” or “MOVE!” none of which are polite, but if they help you avoid a crash it is worth it. Third pay attention to your route, certain spots are more likely to grow plants than others, slow down through these sections and keep your eyes up and forward looking to see people entering the road from the side walk, it is good to know where potential plants are coming from.

The Sneak

The Sneak is someone who creeps between two parked cars and then (often at the worst possible moment) walks out into traffic.

Why this sucks for a cyclist: This shouldn’t suck for you at all, in fact if you are riding 4-5 feet away from parked cars you often have plenty of time to react to the sneak. However as we all know some roads in Boston are narrow, and combined with “assertive” drivers who don’t believe in your right to take up a full lane you can often find yourself in situations where you don’t have enough room to react safely to this. Collisions of this nature can be particularly dangerous due to the fact there is often no warning and no time to reduce speed.

How to fix this problem: If you are riding a bike and are being forced next to parked cars sloooow down. This can avoid doorings as well as sneaks. Remember that bell, if you are approaching parked cars and you have to be close to them for any reason, give that bell a workout. While it wont stop everyone, at least some people might hear it and stop their sneaking. Look for shadows under parked cars, if there is a light source peoples shadows will often enter the street before they do, and unless they are walking on the parked cars bumpers you will often be able to see feet moving under parked cars. Look through windows, you can often see people sneaking through these helpful clear portals. If the worst happens and you are confronted with a sneak walking right out in front of you, you have two choices, cut left and pray to the bike gods no one is right there to crush the life out of you, or hit them. This is not a good choice, so remember treat parked cars like the door sprouting, sneak producing, toxic hell pit’s that they are, and give them a wide wide berth.

The Trust Fail:

The trust fail is when a pedestrian looks you right in the eye, sees you are barreling through the intersection (on the green light) and then walks out in front of you anyway.

Why this sucks for a cyclist: This most often results in you having to dramatically alter your path or pull some sort of mega stop, neither make the cars behind you or next to you happy, and both can result in you getting run over. In some horrible instances this can result in an endo (over the handlebars crash) as you valiantly attempt to stop, which can then be combo’ed with getting run over for more awesomeness. The real danger of a trust fail is that in your mind you might think that you and the walker have come to an agreement “I have the green light, you have the red hand, we have made eye contact so you know I am going” and then like that girl in highschool they leave you crying and bloody in the middle of the street…(don’t ask).

How to fix this problem:Trust fails often start off as plants, that bell strategy works on them as well. You should also be looking down the street several hundred feet to anticipate what is going to be popping out, if you see someone making eye contact with you point straight ahead and scream “going straight” or “move please” or “make a hole” or “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!” use whatever level of politeness you feel will work. I find that the closer I get to the intersection/the faster I am going the less polite I am.

The Stampede:

The stampede is when a whole bunch of pedestrians break the law all at once. They will often flood into an intersection even if they don’t have the walk signal, even if lots of cars and bikers are coming right at them. The stampede is a very effective strategy by pedestrians and one I can admire for its effectiveness (even if it drives me crazy). They control the street out of sheer numbers.

Why this sucks for a cyclist: Mostly the stampede sucks because it slows you down. It is hard to work up a good stampede if there is heavy traffic so stampede situations often occur when there is spotty traffic and people feel safe all pouring into an intersection at once. The risk of injury from a stampede is low, but can be raised if you ride like a jerk.

How to fix this problem: There is very little you can do here, ever heard of critical mass, they has it too. Your best bet is to slow to a crawl and either wait for the heard to pass, or wait for the honking of the horns behind you to open up a slot for you (because trust me, they will honk). What you should NOT do is try and weave through the herd at high speed, this will only result in “random chaos” from the group. (see below)

Random Chaos:
Random chaos is (redundant I know) when a pedestrian is crossing the street (this happens most often in “non sanctioned” crossing areas) and they are preceding in one direction and then at some point the notice that you are coming and radically change direction. Which way will they go?! It’s America’s newest and most popular game show! Random chaos can be made worse if you correct your path to go around what you think is going to be their path, or it could be made better, thats the nature of chaos.

Why this sucks for a cyclist:They go left when you go left and WHAM! Their is also a small but very real possibility of tearing a hole in the fabric of time and space killing us all as our atoms turn inside out and up becomes down.

How to fix this problem: Basically you have two options, once someone is already in the street. You can yield to them, which technically is what you are supposed to do, but then again they technically have no business crossing the street at random outside of a cross walk, oh discoridia! Or you can try and slow down enough that it wont matter which way they go and you will be safely able to go around. Your worst enemy here is speed, your best friend is your eyes, look waaaay down the road for people who look like they are going to cross. If you see any of them walk into the street stay straight and slow down, this will allow them to know what you are going to do, and hopefully give them enough time to get out of your way. If that fails, stop get off your bike and bow (with a flourish) while you allow them to cross. Incidentally screaming anything, and/or ringing your bell might actually cause more Random Chaos…so if you have 3 or more feet (about as much space as a person could cover in one big step) and you are pretty sure you are going to pass safely consider doing so quietly. Tip to pedestrians, once you have committed to running out into the street, stick to your guns! Nothing is worse than someone who races out into the street only to slam on the foot breaks and randomly change course.

Don’t Give a Fuck!:

Don’t give a fuck is when someone simply walks out into the road, if only to revel in the honks and screams. This is most often young bullish males, who have been drinking, or are looking to start some shit. (although I have seen young women/and older guys do this as well).

Why this sucks for a cyclist: Um they don’t give a fuck…at all. They just walk out, cars who cares, buses who cares, person on a bike who cares! These people are crash magnets, and will often sneak out from between cars, or cross “wherever they fucking feel like it.”

How to fix this problem: Your only weapon against these crazy people is early detection. If you see someone not giving a fuck, either slow to a stop, or attempt to pass them without causing random chaos (see above). I can not stress enough, that bells will not work for these idiots, and may in fact cause you to become embroiled in fisticuffs with these ruffians. Again you should be scanning well down the street for maximum detection time.

Baby Armor:

Baby armor is a subset of don’t give a fuck, only worse because they often lead with a child in a stroller or held in their arms. People who use baby armor will often plant the stroller with junior in it out into the street until traffic comes to a halt and then cross.

Why this sucks for a cyclist: Baby armor is adorable, but highly dangerous. How bad would you feel if you killed a kid because mom was too stupid to wait till the little man flashed before crossing the street? Also new strollers are built like brick shit houses, it is very likely that you would go sailing right over them to break your collar bone while junior continued to suck on his binky as if nothing had happened.

How to fix this problem: As much as it kills me to say this, just stop. Come to a complete stop. It is so wrong that the flash of a baby can bring the entire system to a halt but it does. It doesn’t matter if the mother (and it is almost always the mother) crosses in the cross walk against the light, or leaps out from behind a cloaking device in the middle of Mass Ave, you just got to stop. Luckily baby armor is easy to spot at a distance, strollers are often huge ostentatious contraptions that take up a lot of room and people with babies strapped to their chest present a distinct profile. Stop and let these people pass, even though they have no business being in the street, even though they are using a child like a speed bump to slow traffic, even though you have every legal right to be riding through that green light, just stop. Coo at junior as they pass and hope that he grows up smarter than his parents.

In general most problems with pedestrians can be solved by, slowing down, ringing your bell, or stopping. Sometimes screaming is fun, but not really effective. When people get to walking in a good rhythm their brains can just turn right off, same goes for people staring at buildings, talking on the phone, listening to music, staring right at you, etc. Always assume they will not stop, and in as many cases as you can, yield to pedestrians it really is the best policy.

It may seem that people do their best to put themselves into as many dangerous situations as possible, but almost always it is just that they are not paying attention. A ‘ding ding’ from a bell, or any loud unfamiliar sound (I often make a sort of ‘chick chick’ sound with my mouth, like the sound you make if you want a horse to go faster) is enough to get them to perk up and fly right. Pedestrians are a lovely member of the city ecosystem and one that we want more of, so do your part in not hitting them by following the rules above, and always paying attention yourself.

Do you have any kinds of pedestrians I didn’t cover here? Got good tips? Share them in the comments.

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Back To School Bike Guide: BostonBiker.org Edition

Unless you have recently pulled up stakes and taken up residency in a cave you will have noticed that the kids are back. Thats right, the annual tradition I like to call “U-haul derby” has come and gone. Hippy Christmas has come and gone (you know the holiday where you can find anything you have ever wanted lined up to be collected as “trash” in front of every apartment complex in the city). And now our fair city is once again populated by thousands of new, eager to learn (and drink) college students.

Let me be the first person to welcome you to your new home! Boston is a fantastic place and you are going to love it here. I am also pretty stoked that you all seem to have brought your bicycle with you! Excellent! You will also find that getting around Boston by bicycle is the fastest and easiest way to do so.

Because you are probably new to the city, and because I myself would have wanted someone to give me a hand when I first got here I have collected a couple tidbits of wisdom that I think you might want to know. I present these in the hopes that they will make your time biking in this city, happier, faster, safer, and more rewarding. So in no particular order here we go…

Communication:

Boston drivers are known for their excellent communication skills. They will often greet you with a “hey fucker, get out of the fucking road” or “get the fuck out of my way” or even “Fuck you, you stupid fucking, fuck!” Sometimes they skip the words all together and just lay on the horn, as if it is a magic button that when pressed will solve all problems (note to drivers, it isn’t). Unless you are from New York City, or a war zone, you may not be used to this. If you are following the rules of the road (see tips below) then you can safely interpret this screaming and the honking to mean “hey buddy good to see you utilizing this fine road way with me, have a good day, and be safe!” I suggest you wave and smile back.

Road Condition:

If you moved to Boston to go to school from say…anyplace else, then you need to know about Boston roads. The roads here are much more interesting than where you grew up. They contain elements of adventure, excitement, and mystery. You may ride down a road one day, only to find that the next morning several gaping holes have been cut into it, and replaced with pavement that is 3 inches too shallow to cover up the holes. Enjoy the ass shattering holes, as they serve as a testament to efficient construction techniques. You will also notice, that like any fine cake, it is better with frosting. In the winter time the roads become even more fun with the addition of ice, mush, slush, snow, black ice, brown ice, white ice, invisible ice, predator cloaking device ice, and my personal favorite, walked on snow that turns into mini-ice moguls from hell ice. You have been warned. Your best bet here is to pay very good attention to not only what is in front of you, but what is under you as well. In the winter go much slower, and move a little further out into the street (where it is better plowed).

The T:

You know that experimental noise rock band you went to see last night? You know the one I am talking about, where they take bags full of cats and toss them down steps, while running fingernails over chalk boards and playing that sound a TV makes when it is turned on? Imagine that band playing their loudest set, while people cough illness, and babies cry, and people press up against you and drunk bums look at you funny, and you have your daily experience riding the T. Oh and the green line is slower than watching paint dry. So the next time you think to yourself that you will take the T instead of taking your bike, be aware of what you are getting yourself into. Only your bicycle will provide you with the speed and freedom you both deserve and demand.

One Way Streets:

I know, I know, what the fuck right? They only go where you don’t want to go. Down town is like a maze, and why why why couldn’t they have just built a grid! But here is the thing, take the extra time to learn the streets. The streets are the veins of this city, and you on a bicycle are its blood. Don’t be a nasty bit of fat and clog up the veins by going the wrong way. Not only will you be putting yourself into the path of oncoming cars, who honestly are just going to turn the wind shield wipers on after they splatter you, but you piss off other bikers as well. Learning the street layout is both a point of pride, and fun. As you explore more you will not only learn how to get from point a to point b as fast as possible, but you will also discover new clubs, bars, shops, parks, paths, etc. Boston is an amazing city, you can explore it forever and always find something else hidden away. Plus when your buddies are drunk and can’t figure out how to get home, you will be their hero.

Riding On The Wrong Side Of The Street:

This is not England, we do not do this here, also see One Way Streets above.

Helmets:

I will put this as simply as I can. You know where you grew up in Iowa, the place that had endless flat expanses of nothing but corn and soybeans? You know how you used to ride your bike around all day long and never see another car? This is not Iowa. You will be in the streets with hundreds of cars, crazy suicidal pedestrians, opening doors, bus and truck traffic, dogs, cats, and once I even saw a boat, wear your freaking helmet. I know it doesn’t look “cool” I know it doesn’t match your hipster jeans, I know you don’t want to ruin your hair, so what. When you get your skull cracked open because grandma decided it was her turn to walk into the streets and you being the nice person that you are ran into that parked car while dodging her, you will be very thankful you had that helmet on.

All that being said, you will almost never ever need your helmet, in fact riding your bike in Boston is about as dangerous as walking around in Boston, but trust me, that one time when you do need it, you are going to be really happy you have it on (so, by the way, will your mother).

Locking Up Your Bike:

Boston has two things that make locking up your bike interesting. One, the weather, and two bike thieves. Leaving your bicycle locked up, outside, overnight, is a sure way to allow both of these forces to wreck your bicycle. If you leave your bike parked outside every night (even if it’s in your back yard) it is only a matter of time before either mother nature, or some mother fucker destroys or steals your bike. Store your bike IN YOUR APARTMENT. I know it’s small, I know you don’t like the three story walk up, trust me, it is worth it. Keep your bike safe and sound IN YOUR HOME.

So that pretty much covers what to do with your bike at night, what about when you are out on the town. Two words, U-Lock (is that two words?). That thin little cable lock you got, thats not a Boston lock. That thick cable lock you have, also not a Boston lock. You need a U-lock, a thick hard to cut, hard to bend, metal shackle that bolts to your bicycle with a cross bar and a lock. Anything less and you are asking for trouble. Also remember if you lock up your front wheel to something (even with a u-lock) thieves only have to remove the front wheel and then can run off with the rest of the bike. The same goes for just the back wheel. If you can, slide the u-lock through a wheel and the frame, and if you are really serious about keeping all the parts of your bike get a cable lock to thread through the wheel that isn’t locked up. Also lock to something STRONG, locking your big hefty u-lock to a piddly ass chain link fence kind of defeats the point. You can also go to any local bike shop and get the quick release levers (the things that let thieves easily steal your wheels) replaced with harder to remove bolts, the same goes for the quick release seat post things (honestly who adjusts the seat height often enough to need this?).

Stop Signs And Red Lights:

Yes, I have run red lights, yes I have run stop lights, and yes you will do the same. But I plead with you DON’T! Many car drivers in Boston have a very relaxed sense of when a light is red, I have seen them blast through many seconds after the light has turned, they also seem to have a hard time reading, as many stop signs are flat out ignored. The bicycle riders seem to have been infected with the same illness. 50% of the time you can run a red light and be fine, 40% of the time you can run a red light and while close still be fine, 10% of the time you are relying on the judgment (and brakes) of another human being to save your life. Do you really want to put your life in the hands of people who can’t even figure out the difference between yellow and red? No you don’t. Stop at that light, just do it.

Also remember that just because the light is green doesn’t mean that you are somehow magically safe. People do dumb shit all the time, making left hand turns when they are not supposed to, making right hand turns without signaling, speeding, pulling out of spots backwards without looking, making u-turns, etc etc. In a very real sense it doesn’t matter if you “had the green” or were legally “right”, if you get in a fight with a car you are always going to lose. Pay attention, and always keep your eyes on the road at intersections. (and every other moment).

Riding On The Sidewalk:

Are you 10? No you are not, get off the sidewalk, you are going to hit some pregnant mother and cause a nation wide uproar. If you must ride on the side walk, well now is the time to see just how slow you can ride your bike, if you are going faster than the peds, you are going to fast.

Lights and reflectors (how could I forgotten these!)
So here is a quick physics lesson for all you english and art majors. The human eye can only see colors (any colors) when some light source is first bounced off that object, these little photons (thats science for “chunk of light”) then go into your eye and a little wizard analyses them then tells the monkeys on a treadmill in our brain what is in front of us. The monkey then drives the human accordingly. So if you are riding around at night…and you don’t have blinky lights, guess what. All the people in the cars, going very fast, wont see you till they are right on top of you and their headlights bounce off you (thus alerting the wizard, who alerts the monkey). A much more preferable situation would be one where you are seen well down the road so that all the little brain monkeys have enough time to move around you and thus increase your safety. I would suggest you also get some reflective objects (most bags and bikes come with reflectors for a reason, leave them on there) as these will also help make you stand out from the inky blackness of night better.

Also remember that it is also hard to see you when it is dusk/dawn conditions, or (and this is the one everyone forgets) it is VERY hard to see you when it is REALLY SUNNY out. If the sun is lower in the sky, and all the drivers can see is a giant ball of light, the tiny wizard and monkey combo get overwhelmed and they can’t see anything. During these conditions be VERY careful. Especially when coming up hills, or riding towards the sun, as these will be locations when drivers are most blind.

Riding In Traffic:

Boston has narrow, winding streets, that are full of cars. This might sound like a meat grinder just waiting to kill you, but wait! The poor poor bastards stuck in these cars yearn to go fast, but can’t. They are trapped in a system that was built for people on foot, and this makes them cranky. It also makes them slow, and because they are slow they pose little risk to you if you follow a couple of easy tips. On a bicycle, you are the perfect size for Boston streets. You are fast and mobile, you can go much much faster than the poor souls in cars. Take advantage of this by riding on the street where your maximum speediness can shine!

So here are some tips I have learned from riding in this city and it’s traffic.

1. Watch for the right hook: The right hook is where cars suddenly turn right (while you are next to them) without signaling. If you stay far enough behind a car you should have enough time to slow down should they decide to be a jerk and take a phantom right. Over time you will start to get a feel for when cars are going to turn right, you can see the driver looking left (looking for cars to see if right turn is do-able), you can see the car start to nudge over to the right (this is very subtle but they do it), and you can see that they are pumping the breaks slowly in anticipation for going right. Once you learn to read the signs you will avoid the right hooks. In an emergency (lets say the car in front of you just suddenly turned a hard right), make the same hard right as the car, 9 times out of 10 you can make the turn with them and avoid running into the side of the car. But of course if you were being safe and were riding a little back and paying attention which gave that car enough room right? Right?

2. Watch for the left cross: The left cross is when some asshole who wants to make a left hand turn thinks it is a good idea to wait for a gap in oncoming traffic then floor it to “shoot the gap” This most often happens when you are going through a green light with a bunch of other cars, the people waiting to turn left think that you are a gap instead of a human. They can’t see you because maybe a truck or something is blocking the way so they think there is a nice big opening they can shoot through. To avoid this situation you can do several things. Hang back far enough behind the car in front of you that people turning left can clearly see you. Or, and this is more of a pro-tip, get up real close and to the right of the car in front of you and use it like a shield as you go through. This is more dangerous because you are going faster, and you have to make sure the car you are using as a shield doesn’t suddenly need to turn right (into you), but it does work.

3. Don’t hug the side: People think they need to be as close to the right hand side of the road at all times. This is not true! You are allowed to be in the lane, in fact it’s the law. You can take the entire lane if you need to. If you need to move into the lane, be sure to look behind you first (to make sure someone else isn’t already there) then signal with your left hand that you will be moving over. You can take the lane to avoid hazards on the side, or to keep cars from passing you when you feel it would be unsafe for them to do so. Whatever the reason you took the lane, when it is safe again to move over, you should this lets the cars go by you and makes everyone have a better day. Also hugging the side when there is a row of parked cars is a sure way to get “doored”.

4. Don’t get doored: Getting doored is when someone opens a door in front of you. This will hurt more than anything else in your entire life, and can kill you dead. If you are close enough to parked cars that, if a door was to be opened, you would smash into it, you are too close. Ride at least 3-4 feet away from parked cars. Pay good attention.

5. Don’t get pinched. Watch out for streets that narrow, or that suddenly have parked cars on them. You don’t want to get pinched between the traffic and the side. The best situation here is to take the lane, or hold your position and let the cars go around. Don’t worry if they honk, that just means they see you.

6. Watch for big trucks and buses: Large trucks and buses can be more dangerous than cars because you can get into the wheels. It is best to give them a wide berth and hold your line (ride in a nice straight line) as they pass. For the most part they are going to be moving very very slow (like everyone else) so this is not a problem, but when they get moving they can produce a good wind that can make you wobble on your bike, just keep a good grip on the bars and try to maintain a good straight line.

Have Fun:
Riding your bike is fun. While everyone else is having the most stressful time of their day trying to get from point a to b, meanwhile you are chillin. Don’t stress out, take your time, and have a good time, you are still going to get to where you are going ten times faster than that guy in a car.

If you are a veteran of the Boston streets leave your tips in the comments below. If you are new to Boston and want to ask a questions drop those in a comment as well and we will do our best to answer them.

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