The Post In Which I Sound Like A Smug Asshole

Hey did you notice gas prices have shot up again? Or to be more accurate gas prices have continued to go up, as they have been for a while now, but people are starting to pay attention again.

Seems that against all common sense people still pay money to own giant money sinks called cars. Cars run on oil, and it seems that oil is pricey shit. Really folks, was this really a surprise? Gas prices have been on a steady upward trend for a decade.

So we have a long term trend of higher and higher gas prices, surly the American public would be moving towards fuel efficient cars, and demanding that our government mandate higher fuel economy for cars…not so much.

Now if you live out in the Midwest someplace and you have to drive 40 miles just to get to the nearest neighbor you might want to get a car, by why for the love of all things holy does anyone who lives and works in Boston own a car? Or if you own one, why do you drive it for anything other than going to Vermont to visit Grammy?

Every day I see the same people stuck in the same traffic on their way to the same place I am going, only I get there 15 minutes sooner, my legs look better, and I didn’t spend 50 dollars to fill up my gas tank.

Why do they put themselves through such torture…every…day? It’s clear from all the honking and aggressive driving that they are not having a good time, so why do they get up every day and strap into their expensive obesity machines only to spend an hour stuck staring at the back of the car in front of them? It boggles the mind.

I would have felt sorry for you in 2001 the first time gas prices started to go up, I might have even felt sorry for you the second time they spiked, or the third, or the fourth. But honestly in the words of a great philosopher:

Let me tell you a little secret, gas prices are never going down. Traffic will never go away so long as you drive to work every day. You are never going to lose that weight sitting in your car all day. Time to get a bicycle. Your car is no longer a convenience, its a weight around your neck.

Every day I pass hundreds of people who look miserable. They sit in their little metal boxes, the smiles they left their house with long gone, the money in their wallet rapidly exiting the tail pipe, and more often than not they are viably angry with the car in front of them. Meanwhile next to them is a sea of people zooming by on bicycle, smiling happy people rich in health and dollars.

Cycling is not only faster, it is more fun. That’s right fun, you can have fun on your way to work, real actual non-drug induced fun! Not only is it fun but your ass will look amazing, your wallet will be fat with money, and you will not be such a cranky asshole.

Not to rub it in your face, but if you are reading this and you drive to work every day, you are really missing out. Bike to work month is right around the corner and you might want to seriously consider it this year.

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