The Latest From BostonBiker.org

News, Events, Updates


Snot Rocket Redux

Written by Boston Biker on Dec 14

This is sage advice, and part of a larger post, but I thought it was very relevant to the weather we are having now, so I excerpted it and re-posted it below. Use this knowledge wisely.

———————————-

Where I grew up this was called the farmers blow, and I learned it from an old grizzled farmer who was tougher than nails and stronger than an ox (true story). When it gets cold your eyes tear up and your nose runs (if you want to know the medical reason for this see here). Moving though this colder air on your bike will only make it feel colder and cause more tears and snot. It has been my experience that once you get going you warm up and the snot stops, but for the first bit of your ride you are going to have a running nose and perhaps a tear or two. You could pull over every ten feet and blow your nose, or you can learn the ancient art of the snot rocket.

What I am about to share with you has been passed down from farmer to biker through the ages, and is holy knowledge not to be used for anything but the most holy of purposes, so prepare yourself padiwan because this is important stuff. The snot rocket is the act of ejecting snot (and anything else) from your nose without the use of tissue. When done correctly you can completely blow your nose free of all obstructions without slowing down, and without getting it all over yourself (a key point).

So how does one do this magical feat? First wait until you got a bit of snot built up, it is important to have some shot in the cannon, or in my experience this wont work. Beware however if you wait too long you will have too much ammo and the results can be disastrous. I recommend waiting till you start to feel the snot run a bit, that’s when you strike!

a. Place a finger against the nose hole you will not be clearing, I use the pointer, some people use the thumb, either way you are covering up the non-business hole. You don’t have to take both hands off the bars for this, but sometimes it is easier if you sit up and ride no handed for a couple yards. This can also be done with gloves on.

b. Point your head to the side. You need to get your head far enough over so that the wind takes the snot past your shoulder, not into it. Remember to adjust for the wind.

c. Check that no other cyclists are behind you. We are going to use our powers for good, not evil. If there are cars behind you, don’t worry, they will have the windows up and heater on, they will not be bothered.

d. Exhale a short staccato breath through your nose. Think of yourself as an angry bull from an old Warner Brothers cartoon, or pretend you just got punched in the gut. This is the key, a hard short breath that ends abruptly will launch the contents of your nostrils into the air and the wind created by your forward motion will carry it safely past you.

e. Repeat with the other nostril.

f. Wipe any leftovers off with that soft part on your glove or sleeve.

Combines with a good spit you can completely clear your entire head of snot and tears at speed with no tissues. Earth friendly and efficient. Plus I have had more than one compliment from pedestrians who have witnessed this (“holy shit that is disgusting!” is a compliment right?). But seriously if you want to ride in the winter you are going to have to master this move. It allows you to breath easily and will greatly improve your riding experience.


submit Snot Rocket Redux to reddit.com Add to Reddit.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in education | 7 Comments »

The Word On The Street

  • RSS Here is what people are saying

    • Where bicycles are prohibited in Massachusetts August 16, 2023
      TweetThe main issue you will confront if you get into a dispute with police over bicycle prohibitions is whether the prohibition is supported by law. Often it is not. Example: the ramp from Commonwealth Avenue to Route 128 northbound and … Continue reading →
      jsallen
    • Where bicycles are prohibited in Massachusetts August 16, 2023
      TweetThe main issue you will confront if you get into a dispute with police over bicycle prohibitions is whether the prohibition is supported by law. Often it is not. Example: the ramp from Commonwealth Avenue to Route 128 northbound and … Continue reading →
      jsallen
    • It’s Finally Happening! 5th Annual Hot Cocoa Ride Feb 12! February 8, 2022
      ... Continue reading →
      commonwheels
    • It’s Finally Happening! 5th Annual Hot Cocoa Ride Feb 12! February 8, 2022
      ... Continue reading →
      commonwheels
    • Hello world! June 9, 2021
      Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing! Continue reading →
      thecommunityspoke
    • Run The Jewels Lead Free Pewter Hand Carved And Cast Pin Set January 3, 2021
      Made these lovely RTJ fist and gun pin set. Hand carved in wax, and then cast in lead free pewter.  Because these are made by hand you can do fun things like add an extra small pin so that they sit just so (also means they have “customized” brass back plates to accommodate the extra […]
      Boston Biker
    • My Work In The Wild: Feather Head Badge With Chris King Headset January 3, 2021
      One of my customers sent me this amazing picture of my feather badge installed on their (awesome!) bike.   Check out Manofmultnomah (here and here), apparently Chris King took some interest in it as well.  Want one of your own?  Buy it here, or here... Continue reading →
      Boston Biker
    • Boston’s Invitation to Improve Biking in Boston: Draw on Some Maps! December 14, 2020
      TweetSometimes, the best way to gather ideas and feedback is to let people draw on some maps. Last night, at the Bike Network Open House, pedallovers unveiled a draft for their upcoming plans for a more connected biking network infrastructure … Continue reading →
      greg
    • Boston’s Invitation to Improve Biking in Boston: Draw on Some Maps! December 14, 2020
      TweetSometimes, the best way to gather ideas and feedback is to let people draw on some maps. Last night, at the Bike Network Open House, pedallovers unveiled a draft for their upcoming plans for a more connected biking network infrastructure … Continue reading →
      greg
    • Boston’s Invitation to Improve Biking in Boston: Draw on Some Maps! December 14, 2020
      TweetSometimes, the best way to gather ideas and feedback is to let people draw on some maps. Last night, at the Bike Network Open House, pedallovers unveiled a draft for their upcoming plans for a more connected biking network infrastructure … Continue reading →
      greg